January 20, 2009 - Msg 69549: Oh, and I even love that old, civil rights leader that voiced that comment.

Boo
January 20, 2009 - Msg 69550: CLEAN SWEEP!!

Boo
January 20, 2009 - Msg 69551: Still waiting on my snow! It was cute this morning,Laci was in her high chair eating breakfast & I kept talking about snow.I guess she understands the concept of snow,despite having never actually seen any.You know how kids play with those empty paper towel tubes? Well,there was one nearby and she picked it up & peered intently through it out the window. So,guess she was scouting for snow-hope she saw some on the horizon!
God Bless "W" and our new President as well.
*******************
possum under a rock
January 20, 2009 - Msg 69552:
Good job Boo! Looks nice, real nice.
OK, here's a medical question FROM me for a change!
Anyone here have sciatica problems, and if so
what do you do to relieve it? Mine has recently become a real problem and i am considering a Chiroprator
for the first time in my life.
Thanks,
MDC
MDC
January 20, 2009 - Msg 69553: All im gona say is on the previous page I agree with you Boo...nuff said...and on another note..Good Afternoon!..my cold cut sub was GOOD..had the works on it..got to get started here at work...and God Bless America...back in a bit with the supper menu...Rev wish you would check in brother....SPOT
January 20, 2009 - Msg 69554: I have sciatica MDC. When it gets to be too much,I get a shot of cortisone.I think what is given me is called Declaron (sp?) Luckily, one injection will hold me for 6 months or more. Last had one in May.(Wow,this has been a good run! 8 months- thank the Lord!)Most folks say they need them 3 or 4 times a year.I only get them when it really gets bad,as I know there are risks of bone damage from cortisone.
Here's a stretching exercise you can try,which does seem to help some.Just hurts doing it!
Lie flat on your back on floor. Extend leg on affected side straight up in the air as high as you can go. Take your hands,grab your toes and pull them down toward you. You will FEEL it stretch that sciatic nerve!Hold for several seconds. Repeat several times & see if that helps.
Never had a Chiropractor treat me,but I would certainly consider one for sciatica. My in$urance doesn't cover Chiropractic is why. You might really want to try manipulation therapy from one.
Hope it eases up on you.That is some aggravating pain!
************
possum again
January 20, 2009 - Msg 69555: I used to have the problem often when I stood on the job. Do you have a job in which you stand alot or might be in a position to aggravate it. I had physical therapy for it for awhile but the doctor told me that the only thing that really works is a good period of staying off of it. When I stopped working and was able to sit down and rest during the day, mine got better. Could be a different situation with you, but I would try rest and a natural anti-inflammatory, which you can find at the health food store.

Boo
January 20, 2009 - Msg 69556: I didn't watch the in'ugh'aration, so I didn't hear that "White" comment, but that is just pathetic. The election is over, but some are showing they will still be playing the race card.

Hope you're wrong about white Christians being the only people that it'll be ok to discriminate against. Trouble is I'm sure there are enough people who will downplay comments like that, saying that whites are just getting it back(for slavery and discrimination of blacks) and "deserve" it. I've heard people say that already.

Not trying to be a downer or anything. I know a lot of people are happy about today, and I'll just pray that the new President has a re-awakening provided by God.

Have some maybe good news. I say maybe because I might have a new job, though it is not the one that I am supposed to be starting Monday that my wife found for me. I think I have a pretty good shot of getting it. Things just came together right away today. And I hope she won't be too mad if I don't take that other one.

The only, and worst, downside to this new job I might have is that it is in the evening, and I hate the thought of not seeing Kai for much of the day, and not playing with her at night, and not tucking her in. Though I will be able take her to school and pick her up and be with her for a little while after school.

The upside is that if she is sick or has the day off from school, I will be there for her. And there's no weekends, unless I want to leave early Friday and work a Saturday or something, so it is pretty flexible.

Now I just have to convince my wife that this job would be the better one right now.
I just don't feel qualified for the other one, for one thing. It's been a long time since I even looked at a spreadsheet, much less worked on one.

But whichever job I take, I am not considering it permanent. I have discovered that I want to be
doing something that I care about doing. And keeping books for some company, or cleaning offices, are not things I care about. So that is another upside to working in the evening. My days will be free to look and train for, or just work toward, that job that I can care about.


Well, have to go pick up the Kai. See. I would miss being able to say that if I worked days.:)

-Sterling Holobyte

January 20, 2009 - Msg 69557: Oh sorry, that was, "Hope you're wrong about white Christians being the only people that it'll be ok to discriminate against, BOO" :)

-Sterling Holobyte
January 20, 2009 - Msg 69558:
"You are a bird in this world Sterling"

January 20, 2009 - Msg 69559: I'm recusing myself from political talk for the rest of the week. After all, I'm no Calvin Coolidge. Or even Rita Coolidge.

STERLING: That's great news. Sound like you've thought it through and come up with a good plan. Sometime I'll figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

MDC: I had trouble with sciatica for a few months some years ago. Staying off it wasn't an option. The doctor told me to quit wearing whatever shoes I was wearing and get new, quality ones. I did and the pain was gone in a week. Guess you could try that.

POSSUM: Oh, just kids are supposed to play with paper towel tubes?

Well, the Mrs. and I are going to couples Bible study this evening. It started the other week. Truth be told, it's not really up my alley (it's pretty shallow stuff, if you ask me). I wouldn't be attending but a good friend--one of my accountability group members, actually--and his wife are leading it. They are good, Christian people and we want to be encouraging.

See y'all tomorrow!

Me-They
January 20, 2009 - Msg 69560: BOO: I meant to agree with your comment, if only because the Bible tells us that the world will come to despise us for our faith. Guess that means whoever ends up president.

Does that qualify as political talk, or do I get off on a technicality?

M-T
January 20, 2009 - Msg 69561: Okay, I'm gonna break my own promise for one last post.

I didn't remember hearing the comment AUH2O and BOO referred to (which, if it was made, I agree was racist). And, when I just read through a transcript of the speech I could not find it.

Could it be that you heard it incorrectly? It would be a shame to get upset over something that wasn't even said. Okay, that's it!

M-T
January 20, 2009 - Msg 69562: Isn't that ridiculous, Sterling (saying that white people "deserve it")? The white people who deserved it are mostly dead and gone (I say mostly, because I know there are still evil white men, as there are evil men of every race). I don't deserve it, nor do my children. People that would say something like that are acting like the ones they say "deserve it". Interesting how that spirit of revenge works, isn't it? Hatred breeds hatred and those who would give the seed of bitterness a place to flourish within their hearts, become the very thing they hate. Jesus had it right when he said that if we take up the sword, we will perish by it.

Sterling, what if you were to pray about your decision, commit it to the Lord and then tell your wife that you would listen to her opinion and consider it when making your decision, but that as the head of your family, you will do what you feel is best for the family. Would that work? I think you are an amazing person, Sterling, and you have so much capability to make a difference in your world. I admire the love and devotion you show to Kai (and the plain hard work you do to care for your family). You deserve to be doing the job that best suits you, my friend. It's ok to think of yourself for a change and do what YOU want to do. God be with you in your decision...my prayers for you today.

No Me-They, you are no Rita Coolidge...haha. Can you sing?

Boo
January 20, 2009 - Msg 69563: Hi, porch... While it's true that I didn't watch the inauguration, I did record it. It was never my intention that I'd never watch it, I just didn't want to commit a whole day out of my life to watching the thing. Now I can sit down with my little remote and watch what I choose, if I choose, for as long as I choose. If I didn't hear something clearly - did he actually say that about "white doing what's right" - I can rewind and check it out. I can zip past the talking heads - who cares what they think, anyway? Oh yes, I'll watch it, but in my own way.

As for people playing the race card, that will probably always be with us. There is a small but vocal segment of our population that cannot survive without it, because in their minds, that's the only thing that justifies their present sorry situation. It can't be that their own lack of ambition has anything to do with it. It can't be the wild, outlandish clothing and hairstyles, mumbled and garbled speech, lack of education (even the part that's free), drug habits and sheer laziness. No, it has to be whitey's fault. This is no revelation on my part. Bill Cosby agrees, and felt the wrath of some of those folks when he spoke out. Other highly respected black individuals have also made some inflammatory speeches to that effect, with the same reaction from some of the black community. Those folks are not going to give up that crutch easily. One thing that the election of Mr. O has done, it's going to be harder now for those folks to say they can't get anywhere in this country. That's why I've said for many years that we need a black president. I just wish it could have been someone else, but so be it. He has his chance now, let's see what he can do with it.

Boo, God will bless you and yours for what you're doing with those girls at the rehab. You're pretty much an unsung hero, but God doesn't miss a thing, and He doesn't forget.

Be blessed, all. --Romeena
January 20, 2009 - Msg 69564:
Me-They-the comment was in the final
benediction, not the inaugural address.
Thanks to all for the advice. I'll try it all.
MDC

January 20, 2009 - Msg 69565: Well Hello gang!...late supper...a good warm in our belly will make us feel good!..homemade Chicken-n-dumplings (big pot) fresh cornbread with real butter!..hey M-T,Ro,MDC my friend Boo and Mavis...Maude where are you?..Rev?...Thomas?...well Idol is on tonight so at least that will make us laugh!..it does me!..prayers for all and everthing!...back in a bit...SPOT
January 20, 2009 - Msg 69566: possum will you make a salad?..SPOT
January 21, 2009 - Msg 69567: Wow I posted that last post at about 6:30 est time or so and its 01:12am the next day...mercy..hope all is well...will check back in a bit...all is quite at work...COLD outside shows 18.....SPOT
January 21, 2009 - Msg 69568: I'm here, Spot, about 13 minutes later. 12:25 here, CST. Am headed for the bed, though. Starr is a tired puppy, and so am I. She ran about 30 laps around the living room with a toy in her mouth, then flopped over on the floor, panting. She does that almost every night, silly little thing. --Romeena
January 21, 2009 - Msg 69569: Good Morning Porch! Coffee's on here if anybody wants some, where's Spot with breakfast?
Sorry I didn't get back yesterday, told you I had a busy day. The judge ended up dismissing my case since the lawyer there representing the credit card company had no idea what was going on with my case, he did say they could call it back if they wanted to. When I said something about I hope not since I am not real happy to be missing days of work to bring a receipt up here showing that is has been paid off, he said he understands, & he dismissed it. The attorney told me they probably wouldn't be calling it back up, but if they did, when I filed my order of defense with the courthouse, to be sure and mail a copy of the receipt to them, I told him I would, but I thought the first 3 I faxed over would suffice. He laughed & rolled his eyes & said, "Trust me, I understand" there were 2 other women besides me there, being sued by the same company with receipts showing they had paid thiers off as well, so I guess the attorney knows how crazy this place is. The judge too apparently since he dismissed all 3 cases.
Still don't know what the plumber is going to cost us, he's back over there again today. We have busted water lines all over the house! I am NOT a happy camper about that! My brother's g/f was too lazy to go downstairs and close a window in the basement (don't ask why it was even open in weather like this, we have no idea) anyway, the window was open through all those nights of 0 degree weather! The night's with those below zero winds & needless to say it froze the lines. I am just livid about it, who knows what it's going to cost us because of her laziness! More on that story later before this turns into a book. Right now, I have to get ready for work and I need coffee first!
Later porchsters
*Mavis
January 21, 2009 - Msg 69570:
Morning Porch

It's -3 this morning on my end of the Porch. We're suppose to hit the freezing mark Friday for the first time in about three weeks.

Romeena-I agree with you about campaign funding and the fairness of it. However, I have conceded the point years ago that Conservatives are treated unfairly by the media, with no doubt what so ever. Could you imagine if President Bush had a racist minister at any time during his political life. Still, I guess I want Obama to succeed if the success means America succeeds. I'm pretty sure that history has shown that socialism is a green banana (no good). Now, if Obama decides we may not need to swing a hard left, then great. I guess we have to wait and see. I do like Obama. I have a hard time reconciling that with his stance on live birth abortion but I do like the guy.

Spot-Sorry I wasn't here to chat last night.

"It's not tyranny we desire; it's a just, limited, federal government." Alexander Hamilton

auh2o
January 21, 2009 - Msg 69571: Poor Mavis, what a mess. It makes me real glad I don't own any rent houses right now. Glad your case was dismissed.

It is cold outside here this morning...I took Gizzy out to do his thing and he did it in a big hurry. That is funny about Starr, Romeena. Gizzy does the same thing sometimes, especially in the backyard. To bad we aren't prone to such outbursts of exercise! :-) Thank you, BTW, for your kind of words of encouragement concerning the drug rehab. I pray that the Lord will allow me to continue being there for those girls in years to come. It feels very "right" being there each week and even though it can be painful, it is also a joy to be able to give and receive so much love.

Well, the coffee is finished and I have to get Miss Erin up and going. She has been doing better in many ways, but we are still having some problems with obedience and the occassional sassy remark. I found out from her sunday school teacher (Miss Terri...who happens to be one of my best friends, so she tells everything), that the other sunday, Terri was speaking to her husband, who helps out in the class and Terri said to him, "Will you please help me here?"...to which Erin piped up and said, "Yeah, get up and do something instead of just sitting there". I was mortified to hear about it and had to have a tough talk with her...and will continue to follow-up on it. I correct her at home for such things and I think this is the first time she has done something like that to another adult. I am doing some serious bud nippin' over this one. At least I can count on Terri to tell me if there is another problem. Better go...I am going to have to warm up the old suburban this morning! We still haven't got a new vehicle...we have out car-dealer friend looking for what we want at auction this week.

Boo
January 21, 2009 - Msg 69572: emphasis on "LIMITED", Auh2o...good morning to you.

Boo
January 21, 2009 - Msg 69573: Good Wednesday Porch, hope all is well today. COLD this morning on my end of the porch. It was 14 when I came to work but guess most of us are experiencing that this time of year. It is supposed to warm up on Friday, maybe to 55 degrees.

Friday is my husbands 50th birthday so hopefully we can celebrate with dinner out.

Just the usual stuff at my house, school has been out for 2 days due to ice and snow but they are back in school today on a 2 hour delay. Parts of our county have narrow mountain roads that tend to stay snow covered and icy so even though our kids could get to school some of the schools in the lower part of the county can not so they all get out.

I have a training tomorrow afternoon, supposed to be on helping folks who have problems with insomina. The one on Friday morning is about in#urance stuff (billing, getting prior approval for services). Since we do our own billing and secretary work we have to go to those things. Does not sound like fun to me.

Lunch menu will be: roast beef sandwhiches, chips, SLAW, chocolate brownies with vanilla ice cream and chocolate syrup drizzled on top. ice tea, kool aid to drink. see you at lunch.

Stay warm everybody.

Prayers and blessings to all!

Big Maude

January 21, 2009 - Msg 69574: Mornin', porch! Boo, may Heaven help whoever Erin marries some day. He's going to have to be a strong, assertive man to hold his own with her.

Auh2o, I'm with you on wishing Mr. O well, because as you imply, we're all in this together. I wish I could say I like him, but I just can't say that with any degree of honesty. There's a smarminess about him, a smug expression, and I have a feeling we have not yet seen the real man, and may never see him. I think he's plenty smart, and I sincerely hope I'm wrong about his motives and his agenda. Time will tell. About the abortion thing, that's just disgusting, and God's going to get us for it. It's not just Mr. O., it's the whole country that has somehow allowed that slaughter to take place. Did you know that most vets will not spay a pregnant animal? It's against their principles to take the little unborn lives. Yet we allow human babies (fetuses, if you insist) to be torn from their mother and destroyed by the thousands, every day. Shame, shame, shame on us!

There, I've said it and I ain't takin' it back!

Now I've got to go over to the rent house and meet the cleanup folks. They have their work cut out for them. Oh, did I tell you we discovered that the renter stole $250 worth of floor tiles that were stored in the attic of that house? My stupidity, for putting them up there in the first place. That won't happen again!

Be blessed, all! --Romeena
January 21, 2009 - Msg 69575: just wanted to stop by and say "hey" to everybody, as Goober would say.MDC, I know you'll win the arm wrestling, so let's just leave the physical stuff for the football players!I watched the inauguration yesterday, I missed what the preachers said, I just watched him being sworn in, and, tried to listen to the poetry, couldn't tolerate that, I like poetry, but, I didn't like that.I was reading the archives, I'm not sure who said it, but, his smug look unsettles me too, and, when he gave his speech, I felt some freedoms slipping away too.I guess time will tell. Prayers that he will do the right thing for the country.-ky girl
January 21, 2009 - Msg 69576: Let me know if you all get your x-mas cards, I finally sent them out the other day!-ky girl
January 21, 2009 - Msg 69577: O.k., I promise this is my last post for awhile!Boo, there is a lady in the church I go to that sounds exactly like the one you were talking about that is causing problems at your church. It has been considered that she has mental problems. Problem is that doesn't excuse the behavior.And doesen't change the fact that she constantly behaves this way.Then when confronted, uses the same response, such as saying they didn't understand, or, completely denying the behaviour when confronted.I'll be praying about the situation.-ky girl
January 21, 2009 - Msg 69578: Good morning everyone. Hope that your day is sunny and warm.

Nice to hear from you, KY GIRL!

MAVIS: Sorry about your busted pipes. Some people just ain't got any sense.

MDC: Yeah, I realized that I read the posts wrong yesterday. Funny thing is it hit me driving home. I guess my poor brain is processing slow these last few days. Too many numbers floating around. The field work for our audit is finally over and seems to have gone well. Being a nonprofit, we have an outside audit each year. I hope your internal is going well.

ROMEENA and AUH2O: I can’t say that I like or dislike Obama the man. A few of his stated policies I like; many I don’t. But he does seem to be moving towards the center, so I suppose that’s a good sign. Again, I have guarded optimism.

One thing is for sure: no matter what he does wrong liberals will defend him, and no matter he does right conservatives will attack him. There aren’t many impartial pundits or press sources out there that are more concerned with America than they are with ideology (and pushing theirs). Reagan did many great things as president, but he left a horrible deficit and government grew exponentially. Say that to someone like Hannity or Limbaugh and they will come up with some “great” excuse. Same goes the other way. I wish the press and the pundits would just call a strike a strike and call a ball a ball. But until “their” guy (or gal!) is in the hot seat, everything will be terrible. We have seen Bush attacked for 8 years no matter what he did right, and now it’s Obama’s turn.

AUH2O: The one point you mentioned about Obama is the one thing I will give him no quarter on. It’s wrong, period, and any move otherwise is indefensible.

Can I get up on the soapbox for a minute? … By the same token, though, liberals haven’t cornered the market on discounting the life of children. When you talk about abortion, liberals will defend it as a “choice.” A woman’s right to determine her own body and destiny is more important than consideration to the unborn. When you talk about “collateral damage” to innocent children in a war zone like Afghanistan or “poor victims” of sectarian genocide in Africa, their unintentional deaths by the hands of our military or their deaths through our inaction (“it’s not in our best economic or political best interest”) are defended by conservatives as unfortunate, but necessary to our own self-preservation.

I’m pretty certain it doesn’t matter to the innocent kids whether they are being killed because their parents don’t want the hassle, because an American-hating terrorist happens to live next door, or because we are just too busy with our own problems to help. No, dead is dead. And there are no—none, zip, nada—good reasons for children to die by human actions. If children are dying in this country, or on this planet, it’s up to us to stop it whatever the cause. I don’t know for sure, but I’m pretty certain that when we face our Lord we are going to feel pretty awful offering up any excuse at all for why children “had to die” on our watch.

I’m not vehemently against abortion; I’m against killing (or abusing, or being made to suffer) kids period, whether it’s in the name of individual rights, national defense, or plain selfishness. Anyone can create an argument justifying just about anything. In my opinion, there ain’t one for justifying this.

Okay, BOO, you’ve been itching for a moulage. This may be it. Truth be told, though, I’m on this kick this morning because of a comment made by my boss. And, since I want to keep my job, you all get the rant!

Me-They
January 21, 2009 - Msg 69579: Happy birthday Mr. MAUDE! One question, does he look like "Al?"

M-T
January 21, 2009 - Msg 69580:
I didn't mean to cause so much confusion about the remark I considered racist. Here's the quote from Rev Lowery's benediction that tee'd me off a bit.

"We ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to give back, when brown can stick around, when yellow will be mellow, when the red man can get ahead, man, and when white will embrace what is right."

Me-They Hey friend. I never said abortion was a Liberal thing and with all do respect the war-abortion correlation, I think, is bunk.

auh2o

January 21, 2009 - Msg 69581: Good Morning Post!
It has been a long time since I have been able to come and rock for a while...it may have been 3 years or more.
After reading the post I soon realized how much I missed coming here and enjoyed so much the conversation and hearing people relate that hold the same values and beliefs that I hold dear.
Good to see everyone again and I hope someone remembers me.

Hope everyone has a great day and God Bless!
Smky Mtn Hillbilly
January 21, 2009 - Msg 69582:
Morning gang. "Me sensitive, if there's one thing I aint, it's sensitive." (:
OK, last night I re-listened to BO's speech twice, and I gotta tell you that I find it hard to like a
man who, in one breath, says "and we need to put
away petty grieviences," only to say a few minutes later that "we are ready to lead once more." That was a direct dig at Mr Bush, very
uncalled for, very unprofessional. (Even the TV commentators said that it was directed at Bush.) What, Mr Bush wasnt leading? Excuse me sir, that's crazy.
Then the guy who closed the ceremony ends with
"that white will embrace what is right."
We have been right 99 percent of the time, and
that was totally uncalled for as well.
OK, there's my take on that. Sorry for the soapbox!
BTW Ro, fetus is a Latin word that means baby.
Interesting huh? OK that's it for my moulages.
May God continue to guide us, see our repentance
and prayers of praise. Lord help us.
MDC
"OK Lefty, you and i is breaking out tonight."

January 21, 2009 - Msg 69583: Oh Me-They, thank you for those words. I am sitting here at my keyboard looking at two pictures I keep on my desk of my children when they were very young and I am crying. Your words touched me deeply and I can't help but think, 'My children don't desrve to live any more than that little child in Africa, or that tiny child in the womb'. I'm looking at Erin when she was 3..her little blond curls and blue eyes. She has the tremendous fortune to be born into prosperity and a free country and I am so thankful. She has a big smile on her face in the photo and that smile blesses me and hurts me at the same time, when I think of so many suffering children in this world. God be merciful to them and may they be so much more to us than faces on the news. May we give where we can and never forget to pray for the suffering and the unborn. You are right, Me-They, children are never expendable. God bless you for saying it. I'm sorry about the boss and his comment.

Boo
January 21, 2009 - Msg 69584:
Hey there SM Hillbilly! Welcome back. Sorry for all the political talk, but this IS a pretty historical
week. We'll be back to mayberry soon!
MDC
January 21, 2009 - Msg 69585: Hey Y'all- Spot,I was scouting for snow yesterday and didn't get online much- sorry you didn't have anybody rocking with you here. Plus,I still have Laci and she keeps me busy.
Ky Girl,I received your card yesterday.Sure appreciated it-thanks!
Hey to the hillbilly!
Boy it feels like "Yankee Weather" down here-brrr!
Gotta go-y'all take care!
**********
possum
January 21, 2009 - Msg 69586: troublecheck
January 21, 2009 - Msg 69587: Well I’ll be—SMKY MTN HILBILLY! Welcome back. It has been too long. Don’t be such a stranger. Or any stranger than the rest of us, anyway.

You’re welcome, BOO. I can’t think of anyone who is doing more to help than you, especially with those rehab girls. Of course, we all have our children, POSSUM has Laci, MDC is doing important work to protect life…I guess in our own way we all are doing something. There’s always room for more.

AUH2O: You didn’t say it; I said abortion was a liberal thing. Now that I think about it, though, I guess it’s not really. I know some Libertarians and conservatives who are pro-choice. And, you aren’t the first who has accused me of shoveling it, and you won’t be the last. I’m sure I have dumped a lot of bunk in my day. While it may also be true in this case, I sincerely believe it. And absolutely no offense taken. If someone is going to call me on something, I want it to be by someone who is as informed and thoughtful as you. It doesn’t hurt that you don’t mean it meanspiritedly, either.

MDC: Who you callin' "Lefty?" ;-)

I think I’ll have a Coke and a smile.

M-T
January 21, 2009 - Msg 69588: I'm sorry for being so emotional (no, it's not PMS), I have just not been the same since Monday night at the rehab. So, your post got to me, Me-They. I know we all feel the frustration of wanting to do more, and not knowing what to do. I sometimes forget that prayer can move mountains, and we can all do that, can't we? God bless you, MDC, for the dedication to the unborn.

"Hey" to Smokey M Hillbilly! Don't be such a stranger.

Stay warm, Possum.

Boo
January 21, 2009 - Msg 69589: Well Boo, I have been praying about my decision, and still praying. And asking my wife her opinion certainly didn't help. She reacted like I thought she would, but hoped she wouldn't.
Let's just say she has a way of making someone, mostly me, feel totally inadequate, and stressed.

It is really hard to make a decision when one minute your spouse implies that she will divorce you if you don't take the job she wants you to take, browbeats you over other decisions you have made in your life, but then tells you that this is your decision and don't include her in your decision making. Well, she is part of it and has made herself a part of it.
So there really is no choice for me. And I have told her that this morning when she called, "curious" about what "decision" I made.

I ended up last night and still today more saddened and downright depressed than ever. And it is not even the stress of "which job should I take" that is doing it. As some of the very wise people on this porch have told me before, to "pick your battles". Well, I don't care enough about a cleaning job to have a battle over it.

What depresses me is this control issue, and wondering if/when I ever do have an opportunity to get a job I would really, really want; would I have to go through this again?! I even asked her this, and she said not to think of the future and to think of the decision you have to make right now. Then if the opportunity does come up later, then that is my decision. I've heard that before.

I went to the Bible last night looking for an answer and comfort, and was led seemingly once again to a passage that, while I don't know if it is an answer, it did seem to describe some of my situation. It is the 88th Psalm, verses 8 and 18 particularly caught my eye because I sometimes feel like I am barely a man in my wife's eyes.

Since I am on the subject of the Bible, and how true it is, I have found, I'd like to share something that happened back when I was concerned about my ex-girlfriend and her "guy friends", you remember? I thought I might have some more trouble with them because of the guy eyeing my mom's house after talking with my ex, probably about me, which is what got me into trouble with her other friends years before?
Anyway, one night I was extremely paranoid about the whole thing, and I decided(for the first time genuinely) to look in the Bible to find some comfort. And I swear this to be true. The bookmark was in Psalms, I don't know why. It could have been that the Sunday before, the Pastor had us go to Psalms 23(you all know it, "The Lord is my shepard..."), I remember we had gone there some Sunday.

Even though I saw that passage there when I opened It up, my eyes were - I feel - "led", down to the right of the page, to Psalm 27.
I actually got pretty emotional as I read it because it was all there, and I knew from Whom it came.
If you want to, check it out. Read the whole thing.

That's why I went to the Bible this time, and although I don't know what the answer is, I do know He knows my troubles.

I still don't know what to do. My wife says not to stress over it. She said SHE isn't. I don't know if that means she would be ok with me taking the other job, or if she has already decided to leave if I do. And that last part is my dilemma. Because as I told her last night, I don't appreciate those kind of "ultimatums".

I was kind of hoping that lady at the cleaning place wouldn't call me, as then it wouldn't be an issue right now. But, as my luck would have it, she just did, and offered me the position, of course. Oy.
I told her I will tell her this afternoon, so I have to do some more hard thinking. And advice and prayers appreciated.


Sorry for the long post. Boy, and you think you had a rant, Me-They? ;)

I also feel bad about burdening you with these problems. The Pastor said something last week about not speaking ill of your spouse to other people, and I try not to go into too much detail(right, see length of post) or post it too negatively, but right now that's how it feels and I don't have too many other people to talk to about this, and I appreciate you all putting up with me.

Amazing, Boo? No, I am far from amazing(I'm no Barack Obama, after all;)), though I wish someone else would find me amazing sometimes.

-Sterling Holobyte

January 21, 2009 - Msg 69590: STERLING: I can't read your pastor's mind, but I think he probably was referring to gossip or just plain bad-mouthing. That's not what you are doing. It's obvious from your post that you love your wife. You are just explaining a problem and how you feel about it to friends. So don't beat yourself up about that.

I'm sorry that you are going through this difficulty. But you seem to be doing the two best things you can to figure it out: praying and seeking the Word. I don't know what to advise but to say keep doing what you are doing. You can';t change your wife. Just be sure that you are staying true to what God expects of you as a child of God and a husband to your wife. Sometimes, that will mean taking a hard stand. Other times, swallowing a bitter pill. The "love" we are expected to show our wives is not necessarily of the emotional variety; it is in our words and deeds to her. I have no doubt you are a good husband. Just keep doing that. God will have to take care of the rest. I know that's pretty general advice, but it's the best I have. There are smarter, more insightful people here who I'm sure will offer better. You have my prayers, good friend.

BOO: No problem. Sometimes I feel like a ship adrift. It's comforting to know that someone else is feeling the same thing I am, even if those feelings are pleasant.

Me-They
January 21, 2009 - Msg 69591: I meant, "unpleasant." Long day.

M-T
January 21, 2009 - Msg 69592: Thank You for all the Welcomes! It sure is good to be back and it brings a smile to my face :-) to know that people remembered me!

Sterling I know I can't offer any better advice than you will get from the fine folks here on this porch but like Me-They I believe you are on the right track seeking God in Prayer and His Word. Please know you are in my thoughts and I am praying for you.

Watch out about to rock forward!
Smky Mtn Hillbilly (SMH)
January 21, 2009 - Msg 69593:
Me-They You know me so well. When I post while we're jabbering it is always well intended. Maybe... I shouldn't have said bunk. But, I knew, you knew how I meant it. I have to agree, died is most certainly died. However, do I believe that, at times, collateral damage invovling death, is also a case in fact. For example, on 9/11 after the WTC were hit our jets scrambled to protect us. Part of their mission was, if nessasary, to shot down civilian airliners that may also have plans to strike other skyscrapers. Now, as horrible a prospect as that was, there most certainly would have been collateral damage (civilian deaths). However, shooting down an airliner before it could kills thousands more in other tower, I feel would have been the prudent move.

Hey Smky Mtn Hillbilly

Sterling praying for ya.

auh2o

January 21, 2009 - Msg 69594: Yes, Me-They, I get the feeling that we "feel" alot of the same things...similar personalities, perhaps. Thank you for your input.

Sterling, let me first say that I am very thankful that you feel safe enough to come here and share with us. I don't find anything wrong with what you are sharing about your wife. This is one of those rare, safe places to talk because we don't know your her, personally. We all need to talk things out.

I know that you don't want sympathy, but my heart aches for you in your situation. I can't begin to know the hurt you must be feeling. I know that living with fear is a very difficult thing, though, especially when it is fear over those we love. I hope you will think about why you do what you do...is fear the motivating factor in your decision-making? It is hard to live with someone who keeps the threat of leaving hanging over your head, I'm sure, but the time should come when we find a way out of that prison. It sounds like your wife's need to control is based in fear and insecurity and maybe you have been making yourself miserable by trying to do whatever keeps the peace in your home and keeps her from leaving. You can't do that forever, my friend. Be true to God and to yourself. You have a toxic situation there and I have confidence that you are a man who can face those fears and insecurities and do what is best for your family. Do you know the biblical story of Gideon? It is found in Judges 6 and 7, and it goes right along with what the Lord showed you from Psalm 27. I think you would be blessed by reading it. Remember that in Gideon's day, Israel had done evil in the sight of God and the Midianites were opressing them terribly? Gideon was actually hiding in the winepress, thressing wheat so the Midianites wouldn't see him and take it from him. The angel of the Lord appeared to him and said, "The Lord is with you, MIGHTY WARRIOR"...well, I guess you could have knocked Gideon over with a feather. He did NOT see himself as a mighty warrior. In fact, he said, "My clan is the weakest in Manassah and I am the least in my family", but the Lord told him, "I will be with you and you WILL strike down ALL of the Midianites together."...Well, Gideon still had his doubts and tested the Lord about it, but the Lord came through and all the Midianites were destroyed in one day. I kind of feel like the Lord is saying that to you, Sterling..."The Lord is with you, mighty warrior". Be of good courage, the Lord is with you. My prayers for you in your decisions and difficulties. I believe in you, Sterling, and so does God.

Love,
Boo
January 21, 2009 - Msg 69595: STERLING: See, told you someone would come along with something better...

AUH2O: You make a good point. Don't worry; when you feel "bunk," go ahead and say "bunk."

BOO: Brothers and sisters in spirit, huh?

M-T
January 21, 2009 - Msg 69596: Amen Boo! I just read those scripture passages you mentioned...a great word!

SMH
January 21, 2009 - Msg 69597:
Sterling, I dont know if you have all the TAGS eps on tape or not, but ep#236 is about Emmett's wife
trying to get him to sell insur@nce. It is really quite good. This is the snopsis of it from this site:
"236 Emmett's Brother-In-Law 01-08-67
Dub Taylor plays the role of a bro in law insur@nce salesman who tries to help his sister by getting her husband, Emmett, involved in insur@nce. Emmett tries, but his heart just isn't in it. Emmett returns to his true love--his fix it shop. His wife finds him there late one night, trying to coax an appliance back to life."
I dont know if your wife would sit and watch it
or not, but it may help if she did.
There's my 2cents, and BTW, Psalm 27, right on bro. Plus..what boo said! (:
MDC

January 21, 2009 - Msg 69598: Well, STERLING, you could always greet her this evening with a Bible in one hand and a DVD of TAGS in the other. If that doesn't work, whatever you do don't try a leg of lamb. ;)

Prayers.

M-T
January 21, 2009 - Msg 69599:
MT- I always thought tags dvd WAS the Bible! haha
Auditors are finishing up !!
Good day!
MDC
January 21, 2009 - Msg 69600: Any issue could be solved with the Bible and a episode or two of TAGS...wouldn't the world be a nicer place if all the world leaders watched TAGS and read the Bible!

Long day at work...Hey Spot how 'bout we give you the night off at meet at Captain D's for supper before we go to church for Prayer meeting and choir practice?
Smky Mtn Hillbilly
January 21, 2009 - Msg 69601: You know it, M-T...siblings in spirit.

Thanks, SMH, and yes, wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone was guided by the bible with TAGS?

See at Captain D's, SMH...I'll give you a ride to prayer meetin'...are you gonna wear earrings?

Boo
January 21, 2009 - Msg 69602: Thank you Me-They, Smokey Mountain Hillbilly, Auh2o and Boo for your good advice and concern.

I don't know if I explained it well enough, but Psalm 27 was one I read before this happened, during the summer, when I had that concern about trouble with those guys. Though I am sure some of the message there is appropriate here.


I did the call the lady at the cleaning company, after a long walk and pondering, and refused the job. As I was walking I kept thinking of what some had told me here about picking your battles. And as I said before, the cleaning job isn't something so important to me to have a battle. I don't like working at night, and more importantly, I would not see Kai while she would be in school, nor would I be able to play with her at night or tuck her in and say prayers with her, which is one of my most special times with her.
I am not trying to rationalize knuckling under to my wife's whims or anything. Just some of the things I was thinking about on my walk.
Once again, the job is not that important to me enough to have a big "moulage". Now, if it was the library job or another line of work that I would really enjoy and keep me in town, then we might have a bigger problem should my wife oppose it.

I appreciate your candor and honesty, Boo. And your words are not lost on me. That is the main reason for my melancholy right now. The spectre of that sad choice, should I decide to go that path, has been on me for a while, but there are many questions yet to be answered before something like that happens.

Just happy Kai is home now and I can spend some good quality time with her.

-Sterling Holobyte


January 21, 2009 - Msg 69603: Sorry I forgot about you, MDC. I will try to watch that episode. I don't have the dvd's(I know, horrible, isn't it?) but maybe they are showing that one on tv sometime this week or on tvland.com.


Well, Me-They, I can't greet her tonight as she is still away for the week, thankfully. But I did mention that she should get the Gideon Bible out of the drawer there and maybe look at it, because that's what I was going to do.

No leg O'lamb tonight, MT. Kai and I are having fish!

-Sterling Holobyte
January 21, 2009 - Msg 69604: Sterling -
I can understand where you are coming from with Kai; I myself have turned down jobs that paid a lot more than what I could make but I couldn't fathom the thought of not being there at night to put my boy's to bed and share a prayer with them. God knows your heart and situation and we will continue to pray for His Guidance - He is in control of all things.

Boo - Thanks for the ride - I won't be wearing ear rings but I bet if no one else does Autn Bea and Clara will sneak behind the bushes to take thiers off.

Prayers for everyone!

SMH
January 21, 2009 - Msg 69605: I understand, Sterling...giving advice is easy. We would never judge you here...whatever you decide to do, we are here for you and being the dad that you are, you would really miss the quality time with Kai if you took the evening job. My prayers continue for you and your family.

Boo
January 21, 2009 - Msg 69606: Good evening, porch, and welcome home, SMH! It's good to have you back. You always just fit right in.

MDC, I'm aware that fetus=baby in Latin, but I added that comment based on the knowledge that in today's common usage, the term "fetus" is used almost euphemistically, because so many are uncomfortable with "killing a baby", but have no trouble at all with "terminating a fetus". Same thing, different terms.

Which brings me to this. Something has been on my heart for a while, perhaps because of the abortion question in the election issues and the opinions we have all expressed here. It occurs to me that it's entirely possible that there may be one or more porchsters who have experienced that very situation, whether as the mother or the father, and made a decision based on their circumstances at the time, which may well have included fear and desperation. If that's the case, please know that it would never be my intention, nor would any other porchster ever wish to cause you distress. We have all made decisions we regret, made mistakes, sinned. None of us are in a position to judge anyone else. As I think I've said before, I believe that we can and must judge behaviors - else we would have no laws, just chaos. However, we are not free to judge the person or their heart. Only God can do that. The mind-boggling thing, the thing that absolutely fills me with wonder, is that the "little" sins of my life are the same in God's eyes as those of an abortionist as he wields his knife. Sin is sin in God's eyes, there are no degrees. Unrepented sin separates us from God, period. When we are convicted in our spirit of our sin, repent and confess it to God, and ask for forgiveness, it will be granted. If that were not true, then why did Jesus die? What would be the point? So, if ever I have grieved someone's spirit by comments regarding abortion or any other behavior, please know that it is the action I deplore, and I do not judge the individual. That is not my right, nor do I wish to do so. --Romeena
January 21, 2009 - Msg 69607: Sterling, now it's your turn. I agree with Boo, no one here is judging you, your decision, or your relationship with your wife. I know of two interesting examples.

A friend of mine tells how at a certain point in her marriage, she found herself irritated and impatient with her husband most of the time. He sometimes made decisions that bothered her, and she would nag and rant at him for weeks about it. Finally, one day, he turned to her and said, "What's done is done. Do you plan to divorce me over this?" Surprised, she said, well, no, she didn't. "So then, shut up about it. Enough already! Either hush, or pack." End of story. She stayed, and took a long look at her behavior toward him, "and they lived happily ever after."

Another example is my own brother. As a child, my mom nicknamed him "The Reluctant Dragon". He was a peaceful kid, would rarely challenge other kids, would give up a toy willingly rather than fight. He married a very pretty girl, who was completely self-centered, and ended up cheating on him. He walked in on them, at the worst possible moment. He just turned and walked out, checked into a motel, and filed for divorce the next day. Eventually he remarried, and his second wife is a domineering personality, to all appearances. She orders him around - do this, do that, bring me this, fetch, carry, sit, stay! It irritates the daylights out of the family, because he works hard (actually, so does she, they own and personally staff a jewelry store). He designs and makes much of the jewelry, and often works until far into the night to finish an order. Still, she's ordering him around when he looks like he's about to fall over. Knowing how meek he usually is, it really bothers the family. Then came the Thanksgiving evening, when the scene was much the same as usual - orders followed by quiet obedience. She brought up some decision they had to make regarding the business, in front of everyone, and was hassling him about it in between orders to fetch and carry. At last, he set his plate down, turned to her, and in a barely audible voice, he said, "I told you we will discuss this at home. And if you want another piece of pie, you are welcome to get up and get it for yourself, and while you're at it, I could use some coffee. I'm just as tired as you are." She blinked, swallowed hard, and got up and went to the kitchen. She returned with her pie and his coffee, and believe it or not, she waited on him all evening, just sweet as could be. I no longer worry about my brother. When the mouse gets enough, he will roar, and he doesn't need my help. Couples have arrangements that work for them, and it's nobody else's business, as long as both are content with it. That's the key. When the time comes that you feel sufficiently motivated, Sterling, you will do whatever needs to be done. Meanwhile, I'm betting that Kai would be very glad to know what you decided this time. You're such a good dad.

Be blessed, all. --Romeena