April 30, 2007 - Msg 51846: Oh, and I can't forget to wish Happy Belated Birthday, MILLER!

M-T
April 30, 2007 - Msg 51847: No need to check--I did the corners, too.

Me-They
April 30, 2007 - Msg 51848: Very good, Me-They. Homemaker, my website is bogartsincorperated.com

Thanks for being interested.

Millie
April 30, 2007 - Msg 51849: oops, bad spelling....

bogartsincorporated.com

Millie
April 30, 2007 - Msg 51850: Hi everyone,hope you dont mind me horning in,but I need you all to say a prayer for the wildlife around here. Right now my heart is breaking,so let me explain. We live on 6.6 acres on a gravel road ,we are the only house on this road and have lived here 15 years. Farm land south and east ,set aside ground north and west.Our road was more lke a country lane Beautiful tree lined,huge 60 plus year old trees. Well the Big bucks landowner and their farm ground renter went to the county complaining the trees are inconvenient for them and said the trees were dangerous to drivers Mind you there has been 3 accidents on this road in 15 years and they were because of speed and stupidity.There is about 3 or 4 trucks that use this road a day. well the county is now ripping out all the trees and digging out the wild plums,cherries mulberries and blackberries
April 30, 2007 - Msg 51851: sorry forgot to sign my name to Msg 51850 Dr pendyke
April 30, 2007 - Msg 51852: M-T - you passed the white glove test!
hm
April 30, 2007 - Msg 51853: sorry about the ranting. But as I sit here I can here the chainsaws and those big beautiful cottonwoods cracking and falling .Please say a prayer for all the birds and wildlife . Thank you Dr Pendyke
April 30, 2007 - Msg 51854: Prayers for sure, Dr.Pendyke.
Millie
April 30, 2007 - Msg 51855: Oh, that just makes me sick about the trees! Must be painful to be watching it happen, DP. Prayers.

You crack me up, Me-They ("duty calls"). Erin was feeling better yesterday but complaining of a headache this morning, not a bad one, though. Thanks for asking about her.

"Hey" to Millie. It was good to chat with you last night. I count myself very blessed to know you! Hope today is a better day for you.

Been trying to help Sean with his schoolwork and he is stressing out on me. I had his Paxil increased on Friday and it is helping but I guess it may take a little while to get the levels right.

I have some chicken in the oven and a few more things to do to get dinner ready. I like to bake chicken breasts covered with jellied cranberry sauce mixed with a pkg of Lipton beefy onion soup mix and about 1/4 cup of brown sugar. As it bakes it makes a really good sauce. Real easy recipe.

Gotta go to the church tonight for pictures for a new members directory. Would rather stay at home tonight but can't skip it.

Sean just came in and told me there was a roadrunner standing in the middle of the drive way. He was gone by the time I got out there...fast little boogers, just like in the cartoons.

Boo
April 30, 2007 - Msg 51856:
HI all, just checking to say Hey.
Prayers for all, and especially for thst sad situation with the trees! God bless you DP.
Sure am praying for a true miracle!
MDC
April 30, 2007 - Msg 51857: Thanks everyone. Dr Pendyke
April 30, 2007 - Msg 51858: Ps I Just order 20 different trees and shrubs from Gurneys,it makes me feel alittle better. Dr P
April 30, 2007 - Msg 51859: Isn't it just amazing, how short-sighted some people can be? Imagine cutting down all those beautiful trees, because they're "inconvenient". I'm sorry you're having to watch and hear this, Dr. Pendyke. It must be just awful. Shame on those people.

I found a little drowned bird in the pond today. It was a young one, probably couldn't fly well yet, still had the soft yellow part at the joint of its beak. The young birds will flutter around in the yard, and get in the pond accidentally, or they try to land on a lily pad, which won't support them, and the result is disaster. This is about the fourth one in the two years the pond has been there. I really hate finding them like that, and I hope I NEVER find a squirrel, because that will just break my heart. I think a squirrel could get out, though, there is a little slope at one end, and the whole thing is rock-lined. Their claws could get hold anywhere at the edge, I think. At least I hope so.

I'm trying to find a particular tree to plant in the courtyard out in front of my house. I want a Chinese Dogwood "Satomi". The only place I've found them is Wayside Gardens, and they ship them bareroot, only about two feet tall. I want one at least 5-6 feet tall, preferably taller. I think it's a futile effort. Google has produced nothing.

Well, I just got home from my grandson's T-ball game, and am ready to hit the ironing board. Sugarplum says hey! -- Romeena
April 30, 2007 - Msg 51860: Hey Romeena, did my email get through??

Boo
April 30, 2007 - Msg 51861: No, Boo, I haven't gotten any email from you. I checked my spam filter and there's nothing there either. I'm going to send you an email so you can check the address. --Romeena
April 30, 2007 - Msg 51862: no hitting the ironing board or you will be sorry for itby having a black and blue handy from it! he!e!

tom

April 30, 2007 - Msg 51863: Hahaha! You're right, Tom, perhaps I'd better just go to bed, and forget about hitting the ironing board. --Romeena
April 30, 2007 - Msg 51864:
Hello porch family. Been busy today doing yard work. I just love to get the yard all neat and then sit back in the swing and just watch the birds play. My blue bird houses are all occupied. And my bird feeders are always full of various types of birds. We have a lot of red birds. I just love it.

Hello Stacey...we are so glad you stopped in. Come on back anytime.

Spot...have fun making over that bedroom. Those ladies will keep things in order for you.

Hello Daph...good to see ya back. Don't stay away so long.

Millie...you are such a dear porch family member.

Dr. Pendyke....prayers for the wildlife threatened in your area.

You all have a good night's rest and remember Jesus loves us all so much! Prayers for all.
-REV.
April 30, 2007 - Msg 51865: Good evening all!

Ro - don't know if this is exactly what you're looking for, but this link (http://www.wildwoodmaples.com/dogwood.html) shows a 5' Satomi (a little over halfway down the page). There is an email address to check availability on the bottom of the page as well.

Prayers for you and Sean, Boo.

Nice to be back, M-T. BTW - how is your Mrs. doing? Hope things are going much better for her these days. And is your kitchen remodel finished yet?

Well, I better sign off. And I believe I'll pass on the old ironing board, too. (Good one, Tom!)

Prayers for all!
AFD
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51866: who played the gutair for james best in those epesodes the guitar player and the guitr player returns?

May 01, 2007 - Msg 51867: Thanks, AFD. That's the best lead I've found so far. Don't know why my Google efforts didn't turn that one up. Anyway, I emailed them to see if they can ship a 5' tree all the way to Texas. Actually, I'd go for one even bigger if they have it. Thanks again for the lead. What would we do without our friends?? --Romeena
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51868: To 51866 - I don't know the answer, but have always wondered the same thing. Whoever it was, it wasn't James Best, and he wasn't playing an acoustic guitar! I was always amazed at the music old Jim got out of that git-box. --Romeena
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51869: Had a great chat last nite at Sara's with Millie and Hazel. We talked about this porch's favorite subject - FOOD! It was great.

By the way - I took Banjo back into the vet's yesterday. He had a turn for the worse while we were at work yesterday. His fever returned and the vets are baffled. They took me right away which I was thankful.

I will let you know what they find out. . .

homemaker
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51870: Here is something for you all to try. Go to Google Maps and get the directions from Boston to London. Two things to look for: how long it will take you and direction #5.

hm
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51871: Prayers for Banjo. Poor puppy!

Thanks for those prayers, AFD. Sean is starting to develope some problems with the Tourette Syndrome again, which concerns me. I was really hoping he would stay in remission. The Lord is in control but I am praying that the symptoms would go away and stay away.

Talk to you all later,

Boo
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51872: Happy May Day! Sorry your dear Banjo isn't well HM. Just had our first hummingbird and grosbeck last night . Put out our sugar water right away,now we're waiting for our orioles Daphne: WE're big Dillards fans Here are some cd titles ; First Time Live
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51873: Sorry ,hit the wrong button more cd titles Back Porch Bluegrass ,THere is a Time. Also there is a Dvd recorded in 1992 just came out last fall called A Night In the Ozarks, It really enjoyable. Dr P

Question? Do Any of you Hunt for Moral mushrooms?
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51874: Never.

Boo
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51875: Good morning everyone. It's a beautiful day here. I hope it is where you are, too.

AFD: The Mrs. is doing a little better but still suffering under little sleep. The baby is a great nighttime sleeper but a very short napper, which doesn't exactly fit with the program. However, at least she's a very happy baby and isn't cranky or anything. I guess she just doesn't need as much sleep as the others did (Chad still takes a two and a half hour nap every day then goes to bed at 8:30 and he's almost four).

Things may be looking up, though, since the Mrs. has a line on a new job. It is a case management position working full-time from home. But, she would have to train there for three months, which is something we're not sure how to handle. Please keep her in your prayers, y'all. Things were falling in place for this job (she was offered it) but now things seem to be falling apart.

the kitchen remodel is done as far as contractors go. I still have a few things to do like finish painting the cabinets, a few piece of trim, that sort of thing. All in all, we're very happy with it.

BOO: My deal is very different than Sean's (though we seems to share some of the same symptoms or, as I like to call them, endearing qualities), his recent flare up may be, like mine, a seasonal thing. Spring brings on so many changes--physical and emotional. It doesn't seem odd that things go a little haywire. We all react to "spring fever" differently. Prayers.

HM: Hope Banjo is up and strumming soon.

ROMEENA: From what I've read and heard from people who know, you may be better off getting a slightly smaller tree. The way I understand it, smaller trees actually aclimate (can't think of the right word but that'll do) and grow quicker than larger trees. It has to do with the shock of digging and replanting a larger tree. A landscaping friend told me that a five foot tree and ten foot tree will be about the same size in five years, because the smaller one will start growing almost immediately but the larger one may take a few years to get established (that's the word!). Anyway, just a thought.

TOM: Now sleeping on an iron board--that's adventure sleeping!

Well, gotta get to work. Who's on breakfast duty today? I'd do it, but I'm feeling lazy this morning.

Me-They
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51876: Mornin' Y'all and Happy First Day of May!
Prayers for Banjo and Sean. Boo,you hang in there friend.
Homemaker,I've done that Google map thing from New York to London.It's instruction # 23 on that one. Not giving it away in case any Porchster wants to check it out,but I'd just like to talk to someone who has actually FOLLOWED Google's instructions- ha! Crazy!
Well,I'd better get busy around here.My rock could use some dusting! Y'all have a good day!
*****SMILES*****
possum under a rock
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51877: Welcome DR. P. It's good to have a doctor around, even if he does prescribe salve for just about everything. Not big on salve, which, technically, may be what Vick's is. But Vick's won't sure the mange.

Me-Get that smelly stuff outta here-They
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51878: Vicks is more than a salve. . .it is a. . .how should I put it. . .A WAY OF LIFE!
There, I've said it, and I ain't taking it back.

My name is homemaker.
I am a Vicks addict.

Oh- I feel so much better letting you all know that! :)

hm
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51879: If you open that Vicks jar, I'm taking my twelve steps out the door. That is some stanky stuff.

M-T
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51880: I am undoing the lid now. . .M-T!

(evil maniacal laugh, ha ha ha)

hm
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51881: Hey Me-They My Grandma' Bless her' used to eat a small amount of Vicks to help clear her sinuses. Dr P
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51882: Talking about Vicks reminds me of an old home remedies book I bought when we were in the Rockies.There are remedies for earaches one Is to pour warm Cat urine in your ear. First just Think of the poor kids that had to suffer that fate.Then don't you wonder how they got it from the cat.aren't you glad I shared that Sorry Dr P
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51883: msg 51866...I believe that was Herb Ellis playing the guitar, aka Bobby Fleet. Hope this helps.
Millie
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51884: Hey...check this out:
http://www.tagsrwc.com/faq/index.php?cat=14
about Jim Lindsay's guitar playing...
Millie
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51885: DR. P: I'm not much of a cat person, much less a cat pee person. I'll take the earache, thanks. Well hold on now...cat pee or Vicks, Vicks or cat pee...darn it, I'm just not sure what I'd pick...

MILLIE: Are you getting all ready for the Queen's visit to Richmond tomorrow? Maybe you could make her feel at home and fix her a mess of bubble and squeek. I hope you are feeling better today.

Me-They
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51886: Ha! I'll take the Vicks, thank you. Homemaker, your Vicks addiction comes as no surprise. By the way, that would be a great slogan..."Vicks....A WAY OF LIFE!"

Thank you for the prayers for Sean. Me-they, thank you for that insight. Maybe the spring is bringing some of these things on with Sean.

Boo
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51887: Millie - my lemon crumb dessert is in the cookbook. You can access the cookbook through The Andy Griffiths Rerun Watchers Club on the right side of the home page. Then you can find it on the next page under miscellaneous. Hope that helps.

hm
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51888: What Queen? A Queen is visiting Richmond? By the way, are we still holding onto Richmond? I think I'll call Andy and ask him. --Romeena
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51889: Oh no, Homemaker's opening a jar of vicks? She's cooking meatballs again.

Asa
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51890: (Looking out for Irishmen) Why, THE Queen--the Big E--is visiting Virginia to help commemorate the 400th anniversary of the Jamestown Colony (first English colony in the so-called New World). Her visit is surprising, seeing how that little excursion turned out for the ole' Empire ;).

Actually, though I'm not advocating chucking our system for a monarchy or anything, if we had to have a queen she's the one I'd pick. No matter what's being flung around her, she always carries herself with such dignity and grace. And, based on what I've read, she's out there pretty tirelessly. Gee, I wonder what it feels like to be a divine monarch? Here's some trivia: technically, the Queen of England still must sign off on all legislation passed by Parliament. Also, while Canada and Britain do not share a government, they do share a monarch. Elizabeth is recognized there, too.

And, no, ROMEENA, Richmond was lost a long time ago, but I did hear that Sherman served s'mores. As a card-carrying Yankee, the only pictures of Jeff Davis I've seen are of him sneaking out of town in a dress (just kidding).

Me-They
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51891: I agree, Me-They. Elizabeth has indeed conducted herself well, and through some pretty trying circumstances, too. Even when her own kids have behaved so abominably, she has held her head up and looked the world in the eye. You gotta respect that! --Romeena
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51892: Just read some sad news Dabbs Greer died,he was Rev. Alden on Little house,also on at least 3 TAGS episodes Dr P
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51893: Yes, he was 90 and left no survivors. how sad :(

Banjo may have encephalitis. Does anyone know what that is in dogs? I am googling here shortly to find out.

Queen E is visiting the Ky Derby in our area. I'll open up a special jar of Vicks just for her. And Asa - the meatballs slide much better with VICKS.

hm
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51894: Encephalitis is inflamation of the brain.
Mil
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51895: I'm sorry about Banjo, Homemaker. Forgive my short posts, I'm very very sick. I am thinking of you all.
Mil
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51896: We are thinking of you too, Mil. Thanks for checking in when you can. Prayers continue for you, Dear. Hope you feel better real soon.

Love,
Boo
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51897: Prayers for you MILLIE. For you, I'm even willing to make some chicken and dumplings for dinner. Does that sound okay? I wish I could do more.

Me-They
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51898: Precious Millie, we feel so honored to receive any post from you, however short it may be. Many, many people are praying for you, love. --Romeena
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51899: homemaker, I'm so sorry about Banjo, but at least now that the problem has been identified, perhaps it can be successfully treated. Please keep us posted. --Romeena
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51900: Thanks, Boo, Me-They, Romeena, and all. I know y'all are behind me. Today has been a tough one. Just got my mama to come over and take care of me. I'll be better.
Millie
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51901: Me-They, sure, I'll try some chicken and dumplin's....thank you.
Mil
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51902: I know what I need....a Phillip's screwdriver. Know what that is? Vodka and milk of magnesia.
Millie
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51903: Homemaker, I sure hope Banjo's problem ain't serious. He has my prayers.

Millie, special prayers going up for you today. I'm sorry you're having a rough one. Please take it easy and feel of His love for you.

Asa
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51904: HAHA!! That's a good one Millie.

Boo
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51905: I just thought of something, Millie. If you throw a little Vicks in with that Phillip's Screwdriver, you'll have it made! Isn't it odd that the censor will let us post the word "screw" when we sometimes can't get through for something we don't even know we are doing?!

Boo
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51906: Just read that post and I should have followed my better judgement and not commented on the censor! Sorry, sounded pretty crude....not very Mayberry-ish. It is something to think about, though. Can't figure that censor out for the life of me.

Boo
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51907: ....did I spell censor right or is it sensor?

Boo
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51908: You spelled it right, Boo. No offense taken.
Asa, glad you appreciated my feeble attempt at humor. That's an old bartender's joke. I'm an old bartender, after all.
Millie
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51909: Oops, I meant Boo appreciated my humor, not Asa. Sorry.
Mil
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51910: I laughed!

Asa
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51911: But mixing that MOM and vodka could be as bad as mixing spot remover in with your gravy.... dangerous, mighty dangerous. And young man there's the matter of grass stains!!!

Asa
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51912: Haha! Good one, Asa, thanks....I needed that. I've got TAGS on right now.
Mil
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51913: Asa's morphed into Mr. Goss!!
*****SMILES*****
possum under a rock
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51914: The only bartender joke I can think of is the one about what do you call a Bloody Mary that you've left the vodka out of? A Bloody Shame! Sorry, folks, I just got home from work and I'm mighty tired, that's the best I can do.
Millie, sorry to hear you had such a bad day, and I'm glad you called your mom in. Hope I can catch up with you tonight.
- Hazel
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51915: Here's my bar joke: 2 guys go into a bar, one named John, one named Sam. The bartender serves them each a beer and Sam tosses a bottle cap on the bar as payment. The bartender immediately begins to protest and John pulls the bartender aside and whispers to him, "My friend Sam is a little slow. Just humor him and let him pay with the bottle caps and later I will settle the bill with you before we leave, ok?". The bartender agreed and at the end of the night John and Sam sat at the bar with a small mountain of bottle caps in front of them. As they were leaving, the bartender pulled John aside and said, "Hey, you said you would pay the bill before you left". John answered, "Oh, sorry. I almost forgot. Have you got change for a manhole cover?"

Boo



May 01, 2007 - Msg 51916: Another good one....thanks Boo! Y'all are determined to cheer me up, aren't ya? (It's working.)
Millie
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51917:
Haha, boo, pretty good. The one I know of I cant say here, and will probably never tell it anyway. Heard it about ten years ago.
Hope all is well in Mayberry today.
At the risk of being booted out of town, I still dont get these marches. To me, they are just counter productive, but hey, that's just me! ha
Ok, maybe it's time for a quote-a-thon:
Opie: Johnny Paul says tar ia real good for your teeth.
Andy: Oh, that's an old wives' tale.
Opie: But Johnny Paul idn't even married.

Have a good evening honeys and dears!
MDC
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51918: Okay - there's a blind man in the bar who says, "Who wants to hear a blonde joke?"
A woman comes up to him and says, "Dir, do you realize that the bartender is a blonde?"
She then says, "There are two women sitting at a table and they are both blonde. There is a lady wrestler at the end of the bar, and she is blonde. And I am 6'5" and I am blonde. Do you really think you should tell the blonde joke?

The blind man thinks for a moment and says, "Hah - I wouldn't want to have to explain it 5 times!"

hm
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51919: Boy - my typing is awful tonite! Yikes - probably too much vicks in my mom!
hm
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51920: Yay! A quote-a-thon! I'll second that!

Millie

Barney: How ya doin'?
Gomer: Sick as a dog, but havin' the time of my life!
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51921: Oh, Hey, Homemaker. Thanks for the joke. BTW, I used to be a blonde(when I had hair), so I love those.
Mil
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51922: Here's my quote:

Briscoe Darling to Barney: "Stop that, boy! You want your face to freeze that'a way?"

Millie, I'm blonde too (from a bottle, that is)!

Boo
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51923: Here's another bar joke (in very bad taste):

A seal comes into a bar. The bartender asks him, "What'll you have?" The seal replies: "Anything but Canadian Club!"

Boo
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51924: Thanks for the chuckles, guys.
Millie
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51925: Floyd "Boy, you fall in a well, you're wet!"
- Hazel
May 01, 2007 - Msg 51926: just one more.....

A man is sitting at the bar and orders a drink. Before he can get his first sip, a monkey swings down out of nowhere and steals his drink. The man tells the bartender, "Hey that monkey just stole my drink! Whose monkey is it anyway?!" The bartender says that the monkey belongs to the piano player, so the man confronts the piano player and asks, "Do you know your monkey stole my drink?!", to which the piano player replies, "No, but if you hum it for me, I'll play it".

Boo
May 02, 2007 - Msg 51927:
Hello porch family....the porch is full of comedians tonight and Boo is on a roll. haha

Yep Ro...Ole Jim could get two guitar sounds at the same time coming from one guitar. AMAZING

Still praying for Banjo

M-T...Sure will be praying for the new job situation.

Millie...it sure hurts to know you're feeling down. But that just makes me stay longer on my knees before the Lord for you. I send you a great big Jesus filled hug!

Let's all meet down at the local diner in the morning for breakfast. It's on me.

You all have a great night and know that you are all in my prayers. Jesus loves you!
-REV.



May 02, 2007 - Msg 51928: Well I WAS gonna start a new diet today Rev, but seeings how you're offering to buy breakfast I'll participate so as to not make you feel bad. Let's see... I'll just have 3 eggs over hard, bacon limp, hash browns lightly done, a stack of pancakes with lite syrup, a scone with honey butter, and orange juice. Oh, and don't forget a half a grapefruit. I am on a diet after all.

For Millie and Boo
Did you hear about the three legged dog who went into a bar? He asked who shot my Pa?

A guy goes into a bar with a chunck of asphalt in his hand. He tells the bartender he wants a beer and a wiskey for the road.

A dog goes into a bar and orders a drink. After a while he finds it funny that all the other dogs in there have no collers on. Then it hits him.... he's in a stray bar.

I could go on but I'm gonna go eat while the Rev is still feeling charitable.

Asa

Prayers for Millie and Banjo continue.

May 02, 2007 - Msg 51929: Does my heart good to see a thin person eat.
Hey Millie, there's a feller over at Ms. Crumps looking for Waltons fans.
Prayers for Millie and Banjo and everyone else.
- Hazel
May 02, 2007 - Msg 51930: Ya'll are the cats. . .I really needed a chuckle this morning -

hm
May 02, 2007 - Msg 51931: Whoops, I forgot. Sugarplum is still in my prayers also. How is she doing Romeena?

Asa
May 02, 2007 - Msg 51932: Morning porch family, stopping in for a minute before I get busy at work. Ya'll are too funny with all the jokes. Special Prayers to Millie.
Thanks for breakfast Rev. how about I fix lunch today: tuna salad sandwhiches with sweet baby gerkins, sun chips, little debbie cakes and sweet tea to drink. guess I had better get to work. have a good day. Prayers and blessings to all. Big Maude
May 02, 2007 - Msg 51933: Thanks for the jokes, Asa. My favorite was the "stray bar" one. hehe

Is the quote-a-thon still in progress?

Boo

Briscoe to Dud: "Stop that, boy. We got other things to do. Try to control them hot flashes!"
May 02, 2007 - Msg 51934: Lol! Love the bar jokes.
Boo, I have a different version of that 'seal' joke, in even more bad taste.

So, this seal walks into a club....






*ba DA bum!*(that's a snare hit)


Here's an oldy but a goody that I'm sure you've all heard: A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him, "Why the long face?"


Hope everyone is feeling well(even after that seal joke).;)

-Sterling Holobyte





May 02, 2007 - Msg 51935: Prayers for Millie. Hope today is a better one for you friend. Wishing Banjo the best as well,homemaker.
possum under a rock
May 02, 2007 - Msg 51936: Haha! Loved the horse joke, Sterling. Believe it or not, I had never heard it. Poor seal, walking into that club...hehe

Boo

Andy: Otis, three hours ago when Deputy Fife arrested you, were you drunk?
Otis: I don't know; I wasn't wearin' my glasses!
May 02, 2007 - Msg 51937: Good morning, all. Just got home from work, think I'll catch a nap. Asa, the Plum is just finer than a frog hair split four ways! I can't believe how well she's doing. Thanks for asking.

Millie, keep looking up, love. Watch your email, I'll be sending something your way this evening.

Have a blessed day, friends. Sugarplum says hey! --Romeena
May 02, 2007 - Msg 51938: howdy folks! how is everybody? my prayers also go out to all those who have expressed need, for themselves, for pets, for trees... for you all.

i wanted to pass a couple of websites along, because they were recently introduced to me and they are absolutely terrific. addictive. the first is a ministry called "No Greater Joy." they have heaps of articles on everything from relationships to homeschooling to health. wonderful stuff! go here: http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/

and more for the ladies here, the other one "Well Tell Me" is by the daughter of the ministry leaders in the above site, and this one is geared mainly to women which has many forums with open discussions, mostly on health. again, wonderful stuff and highly addictive. it's here: http://www.welltellme.com/discuss

they are both christian-based, and i really have been gaining encouragement and inspiration reading thru them. the NGJ ministry has blessed me and my family as a result of me reading and studying thru them, and often learning to focus on and change my own behavior. good stuff!!!

so i forgot who wrote that they are huge dilliards fans... that's so great. it took me years after being a die-hard andy fan to explore into the works of the dilliards. THERE IS A TIME is the CD i have and it's sooooo great! i did their logo in rhinestones to present to their merchandise store, which would look soooo darn cute on ladies tees.

so i'll end with a bar joke myself...

"two men walked into a bar.... the 3rd man walked around it."

YEEE HAWWWWWWWWW!!

over and out,
DAPHNE :)
May 02, 2007 - Msg 51939: Good morning everyone. I guess you have to tell a joke to get onto the porch this morning so here goes...

A Democrat goes into a bar and starts to give the Republican bartender a hard time. Every time he orders a drink, he calls out, "Hey, you stupid Limbaugh-loving, warmongering, poor-people-hating, racist Republican, give me a drink!" After taking this a few times, the bartender finally says, "Now how would you feel if I was your customer and treated you like that? Why don't we change places and I'll show you what I mean." So they exchange places and the bartender sits down and says, "Hey you dimwitted Michael Moore-loving, defeatist, handout-giving, patronizing Democrat, give me a drink!" "Sorry," says the guy, "We don't serve Republicans here."

Pretty bad, huh?

I'm a "Walton's" fan, too!

I remembered last night that Dabs Greer, who passed way yesterday, also guested on TAGS. He was the husband who looked at Andy's house in one of my favorite episodes, "Barney Fife, Realtor."

Tom Poston also passed away today. He was 85, can you believe it? I forgot that he was married to Suzanne Plushette.

Have a great one.

Me-They
"I hate it when you're obtuse."
May 02, 2007 - Msg 51940: Hello all, Daphne, I'm the Dillards fan, heres another Cd called Live Almost,it has alot of the same songs as There Is a Time,but Mitch throws in some funny intros. Millie Hope you are feeling better. Dr P
May 02, 2007 - Msg 51941: He ya'll - just wanted to update you on my Banjo. He does have encephalitis and there is no treatment that will benefit him. So this afternoon - he will go to puppy heaven and be with all of our beloved pets. I would want him to be whole and full of energy than what he is now.

Thank you for all of your prayers - this porch is the best. I may be a little scarce tonite but I'll see you tomorrow.

God is good and faithful. . .

hm
May 02, 2007 - Msg 51942: Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.... 

Author unknown

***

hm, i lost my dear little spicey dog in november when she dug out and got hit by a car. we were absolutely devastated. her 3 year old sister Sugar remains with us, but we'll never forget our spunky Spice. this poem helped me. also, i'll go find a link which really gave me the belief i WILL see my baby dog again when i go to heaven. i'll look for it and post it in a bit.

may God bless you and give you peace and comfort during this sad time.

~Daph.
May 02, 2007 - Msg 51943: Oh Homemaker,I am so sorry.

possum under a rock
May 02, 2007 - Msg 51944: here it is, i found it quickly. go here:

http://www.christianitytoday.com/cpt/2005/002/16.14.html
May 02, 2007 - Msg 51945: Dr P., eventually i hope to own all the dilliards cd's. i just love them! :) thanks for the tidbit... daph.
May 02, 2007 - Msg 51946: Oh dang Homemaker. I am so sorry to read that about Banjo. Good for you doing the right thing. Prayers for you and your family.

Asa
May 02, 2007 - Msg 51947: Very sorry about Banjo, Homemaker. Prayers for you and your family.

Boo
May 02, 2007 - Msg 51948: HM: Sorry about Banjo. Your family has my prayers, too.

Y'all have a good evening.

Me-They
May 02, 2007 - Msg 51949: So sorry about Banjo, hm. prayers for you.
Millie
May 02, 2007 - Msg 51950:
Cute jokes and a Tags Quote-a-thon, does it get any better? ha Or did someone get into the hard cider! ha
All going pretty well today with mother, family, etc. My prayers continue for all porchsters, our prez, our Troops, and our country!
Boo- how is the house coming along?
Colt- thanks for the letter, I will send a reply soon as i get to the pony express office! ha
Good to see Daphne and others, maybe DIXie will check in again.
Hang in there all!
MDC
Andy: Oh no Opie, these candles aint for wishin', these candles are for what ya call "gracious dinin'."
May 02, 2007 - Msg 51951: Okay, my turn....


This piece of string walks into a bar, sits on a barstool, and says,"Gimme a Budweiser."
The bartender says, "We don't serve string here....get out."
The piece of string says,"Aw, please, just one beer, and I'll leave, please."
The bartender says, "I said, NO STRING, now get out!"
The piece of string starts to say something, and the bartender walks out from behind the bar, grabs the piece of string, and throws him out the door.
Well, the piece of string laid in the gutter awhile, and then he had an idea...
He balled himself up into a bundle, then pulled himself out straight again, so there was a big knot right in his middle. Then he took his ends, and seperated them and messed them up so they were all frayed.
Then the piece of string marched back into the bar, and asked for a Budweiser.
The bartender says, "Hey, aren't you the same piece of string I just threw outta here?"
And the piece of string says, "Why no, I'm a frayed knot."

Ba dum dum!


Millie
May 02, 2007 - Msg 51952: HM,so very sorry for your loss.It should remind us all to give a extra hug to our furry kids . Heres one for you,too. Dr P
May 02, 2007 - Msg 51953: Eeeeewwww, Millie, that's just pitiful! (Funny, too.)

homemaker, I am so very sorry to hear about your precious little Banjo. I know how that hurts. I've lost beloved pets over the years, and it hurts, every single time. But still, we do it all over again, because not having a pet in our life hurts even more. I'm going to pursue that link that Daphne posted, and may I also recommend a little book that I'm reading right now, entitled "Will I See Fido in Heaven?" Very interesting. Many years ago, my beloved pastor, who was ahead of his time in many areas, preached a sermon on that subject. It was his belief that ALL creation will be joined together in praise to the Lord in Heaven, and he believes that includes the animal kingdom as well. I agree. After all, God created the animals before He created us!

For me, to accept that my little Sugarplum's life is just a blip on the screen, then she's gone, just tossed away and forgotten, takes a stretch of resignation I'm not willing to make. I don't believe God gave her to me to enjoy for a few years, then forget, like a comfortable shoe that wears out. I think He GAVE her to me, for good and all. Well, anyway, that's my two cents' worth. Prayers for you, love, as you send little Banjo back to his Creator.

Email coming your way shortly, Millie, now that I'm back home and at the keyboard. Sugarplum says hey! --Romeena
May 02, 2007 - Msg 51954: I'm sorry about Banjo, HM.
- Hazel
May 02, 2007 - Msg 51955: Thanks everyone - it was a very hard decision to make for us but we wanted to do right by him. Just to let you know - even the vets shed a few tears too and the vet tech. We really appreciated the care they showed him.

homemaker
May 02, 2007 - Msg 51956: Sorry for your loss, homemaker.

A Mayberry Friend
May 02, 2007 - Msg 51957: Good evening, friends. I love you all, and it that spirit, I want to tell you all something. Some of you know, but maybe some don't, and I want to be the one to say it so.....The fact is, I am dying. There is no hope that I will recover,they are just trying to make me comfortable for whatever time I have left. I feel like it won't be long. Don't cry for me, I am at peace with this....I've been coming to terms with this for over a year. I appreciate all the prayers, and hope they continue, but honestly, my family needsa them more than I do....My 4 kids, my husband, my parents, my brothers....they have the hard part.
I'm sorry if I haven't been completely honest...I just hate to be so melodramatic. I hope you all understand.
I'll post more when I'm up to it. I love you all very much.
Millie
May 02, 2007 - Msg 51958: Thank you, Millie, for trusting us with this information. Your courage and strength continues to be a model for us all. I think you are the embodiment of the phrase "grace under fire". Please know that we all love you, and that prayers continue. --Romeena
May 02, 2007 - Msg 51959:
Hello porch family.

HM...I am so sorry to hear the news of Banjo. My prayers are with you.

Asa...I'm sure glad you were not eating heavy this morning....But I'll admit, your appetite is better than your jokes...hehehe!

Millie...I pray you are doing better as each moment passes. Stll praying and believing!

Well I'm heading off to bed. Have a good nights sleep and prayers for all the porch.
-REV.
May 02, 2007 - Msg 51960:
Millie.... I didn't see you until I had posted. Yes, your family is always in my prayers. And you better know that we love you too!
-REV.
May 02, 2007 - Msg 51961: No Matt What
No matter what today may bring,
A tear to shed or song to sing,
A sweet hello or sad goodby,
A precious smile or sullen sigh;
No matter how this day will start,
With words of joy or terse remark,
A friendly chat or biting tongue,
By feeling old or feeling young,
It doesn't matter, it's partof God's plan
So let us all rejoice and be glad.

that one is for Millie, and your family will be in my pray.


May 02, 2007 - Msg 51962: THAT ONE FROM me love tom.

May 02, 2007 - Msg 51963: Tom, your ability to share just the right poem with us is just uncanny. What an asset you are to this porch! I'm so glad we have you. --Romeena
May 03, 2007 - Msg 51964: Thanks for sharing Millie, I know that was hard. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.
Beautiful Tom, just beautiful.
- Hazel